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I send you herewith new draft of "Rena Walden." I have endeavored
I have also shaded Wain down so that he is not quite so melodramatic a villain, and modified Rena's speech and bearing t
I have tried to word the dialogue so as to give the people a little more imagination,, a little broader outlook. For instance, in one place Mis' Molly says she "would n' lose her daughter for all de riches er Solomon""; and Wain observes that "a ride behin' dat mare would wake de dead", etc. And I have also taken pains to refer in terms to the narrowness of their lives and to trace it to the influence of their surroundings. I have endeavored to have the mother realize, fitfully and vaguely, her own "terrible speciousness"—I think I have used that expression, which is yours , on page 5.
There is a preaching passage on page 10, beginning: "If with the fine analytic mind" , and ending with "handiwork", which can be left out if an editor should think best, without disturbing the story. The little apostrophe to dreamland on page 30 I think rather prety
In short, I have re-written the story so that scarcely five pages of the last draught remain unchanged. I am afraid the length is awkward for a magazine, though the story "Little Venice" in the last Century was I think longer than this.
I have put so much of my time and my heart in this story, and it has been so well spoken of by the few who have read it (the last was a cultivated gentleman who is very familiar with the best English and French literature, with whom I went on a journey a few weeks ago) , that I mean to have it published. I send it to you with carte blanche, with only r
With renewed thanks for your kindness and appreciation, I remain as ever,